These Are Our Adventures

To Whomever Is In Charge of Programming at the Food Network

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Complied for your reading pleasure are these ideas that flooded my Facebook status feed one Sunday afternoon.  See, around this house, we love food.  So by association, we love cooking and cooking shows.

However, this particular Sunday, after being subjected to endless promos for a new show called The Great Food Truck Race, a show whose most dramatic development concerns parking according to my new favorite podcast; a show that is EXACTLY what its title suggests.  (In the interests of full disclosure, I must say that I probably watched them all.)  I felt that if this is the direction they’re heading at the Food Network, then I could come up with some concepts as well.

So here we go:

1. “Where’s the Razor Blade?”- contestants are blindfolded and have to guess which food item has “The Blade!”

2. “You’ve Got Salmonella!”-each week a new food poisoning is given to the contestant and we watch as they experience it.

3. “Knife Fight”- the TV chefs engage in a knife fight.

4. “If I Could Cook a Panda”- chefs imagine what recipes they would use if they were to cook a panda.

5. “Carb OverLoad”- chefs compete against the clock to create the most carb heavy, unhealthy food item possible.

6. “Saturated Hats”- fashion designers marinate and cook their clothing creations.

7. “Blackout!”- cooks must prepare meals in pitch black darkness.

8. “Bobby Flay Will Beat You”- celebrity chef Bobby Flay discovers your talent and then attempts to beat you at your talent. If he loses, he then beats you physically.

9. “Is There Sage In This?”- contestants try to determine if the dish they’re eating has sage.

10. “The Innuendo Chef”- regular cooking show preparing normal recipes, but the chef can only speak in innuendos.

11. “If You Ever Want To See Your Children Alive Again, You’ll Cook…”- producers abduct contestants’ families and their release is dependent upon the dish quality.

12. “Cooking Charades”- chef must prepare a recipe that is acted out by their chosen friend.

13. “You Wanna Cook It? You Gotta Kill It!”- self explanatory.

14. “There’s More Than One Way to Skin a Cat”- self explanatory.

15. “WipeOut!”- each week and certain animal/other food item, cooking it until it is wiped from the Earth’s surface.

16. “You Said A Mouth Full!”- couples must communicate with each other with their mouths full of food.

17. “Around A Taco”- typical late night talk show format that takes place in a circular booth in a diner. A small plate with a taco sits on the table. Whoever holds the plate gets to talk and the host eats the taco at the end.

A good friend of mine started joining in and soon we were brainstorming not just a whole new schedule, but a whole new network!

Feel free to add your own suggestions!  Let’s get the attention of the Food Network!  🙂


Written by jovid52

October 12, 2010 at 9:09 pm

Posted in nonsense

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