These Are Our Adventures

The Joule, Part Two…Or the END of my Booze Problem

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Our friends arrive and we dudes hit the pool table.  But dinner soon beckons.

Personalized menus? Check.

Sommelier? Check.

Let’s eat. (Now, I should mention that my wife doesn’t like wine.  And we’re simple country people too awkward to ask this man who studies the intricacies of wine for a soda.  So it’s really my husbandly duty to save my lovely bride any embarrassment and help her get rid of her drinks.  I succeeded in one of those two goals.)

First course: Lobster Corndog

Wine status:  Whenever the server looks away and the sommelier leaves the room, I basically shotgun my wife’s wine. I got this.

Second course: Limestone Lettuce Salad

Wine status: I can hold my own against this sissy grape juice.

Third Course: Carmelized Scallop.

Wine status:  Hey, anyone feel weird?  It’s like, my legs tingle and I see them, but are they really there?  Could the wine be affecting me?

Fourth Course: Sauteed Pheasant

Wine status: My head feels funny.  Funny is a funny word.

Fifth Course: Dry Aged NY Sirloin

Wine status: I must say silly things and make many outrageous and outlandish claims.

And dessert is an assortment of tarts and pies and yummies!

Wine status:  I vaguely recall this course.  Who took these pictures?

So, yeah.

I still don’t think I was DRUNK drunk, but I was probably right around the corner from it.  Of course, having never been drunk, I have no basis for comparison.  And I was doubling up on the glasses and I figured that wouldn’t affect me too much since I was constantly eating.  And surely they would be giving us the cheap stuff since it was all free.  I was wrong, wrong, and wrong.

You’re probably thinking that Joe can’t hold his booze.  Well, it was like 10-ish glasses of wine!  I spent a good part of time in one of the three bathrooms and then another part of time laid out on the bed in the master bedroom.  I did come back around and recover quickly to finish out the night in my right mind. 

And I got Jen a Dr. Pepper that morning.

Lessons learned:

MODERATION. Nothing wrong with a drink or two, if you ask me. Ten glasses of wine? A bit over the top.

MAN UP. There’s also nothing wrong with stepping up as a husband and taking care of what my wife wanted which was a Dr. Pepper. We don’t have to be intimidated by fancy places.

Did I mention MODERATION?  Just wanted to be sure because this is not a “Hey, kids! Drinking is fun! Let’s all go drinking and drink some drinks!”  This was an adventure to be sure, but one I want to repeat mostly sober. 🙂

PSA:  Ok, you may notice that tonight’s post dealt with the existence of alcohol and the effects of overconsumption.  While there’s nothing necessarily wrong with an ADULT OF LEGAL DRINKING AGE enjoying a beverage, it is important to not only know yourself well enough to decide if you are a drinker, but also to know when to say when.  Like when to stop drinking.  Sure, people always seem to laugh about it, but take it from me, kids: it’s not funny.  If you want to know more about alcohol and it’s effects, consult your local library.


Written by jovid52

March 2, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Posted in contests

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