These Are Our Adventures

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I knew that would make you click.

As i’m gearing up for an update on our baby making thing or whatever it is we have going on, I thought I’d toss out a few things that came across my radar that touch on that topic.

It’s not a tuma!

This is a link to an article about a pregnant man.  And this is another article about the same people.  Now before you click, I must warn your innocent eyes that there are all kinds of particulars about this situation that may create opinions in you about these total strangers.  Not to mention some possible crazy paraphernalia on the site itself, so click but be warned.

When I saw the headlines I imagined it would be something akin to that crappy farce of a movie up there, but as in many ways, I was wrong.


If you want to spout off any crazies, well….nah, go ahead and spout off, but just remember this is just something that I came across that slighty touches on the larger subject matter at hand.

And breathe.


Written by jovid52

December 7, 2011 at 1:01 pm

It’s Been A While, Baby…

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I’m not sure if anyone noticed, but it’s been a little while without any updates about baby stuff.

The baby thing fell into a holding pattern of sorts.  Things have been busy. Holidays and school break.  A new year and new schedules.  But, more than that, we were experiencing a weariness.  Weary of a monthly pattern of hope and letdown.  Stress, futility, confusion, and sadness began to creep back into the process and the day to day.  So, in an effort not to just throw in the towel for good, we kind of set it aside for a little bit instead.

It’s too easy to let all the negative emotions replace my focus.  It’s really alarming how easy it could.  I’m hardwired to look at the lack of results as a reflection on my abilities.  Before I realize it, I could be praying for this baby more out of the desire for one than to get closer to God.   Am I praying to seek a baby and not to seek the Father?  Searching for the religion in the process?  Maybe I didn’t pray right.  Maybe this month I didn’t do enough good things.  I didn’t have enough patience in one area, so no baby for me!

We needed to clear our heads and hearts.  I still need to daily.  Hope and faith are already a struggle enough for me without throwing all of the above yuckiness into the mixing bowl.  At any rate, we’ve picked up the towel again.  We’re holding off the multiple deposit situation and seeking out yet another doctor.  This doctor was recommended by many wonderful people who are very special to us.  That makes it hard for me to admit that it also seems like the strangest avenue for my fertility issues.  But, after everything we’ve been told, I can’t say I’m not immensely curious and anticipating this appointment.  It’s still a month away, but as evidenced by our holding pattern, time flies.

And we are becoming expert “waiters.”

Written by jovid52

April 3, 2011 at 8:56 pm

How I Spent My Christmas Vacation or Squeezing Blood from a Genetic Freak

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I had my first appointment with a local doctor to get an assortment of blood tests ran per the request of McScreamy.   This would be the first time I had set foot inside a family doctor’s office in years.   I get all the regular pokes and prods, but I’m constantly worried about needles.  The list of tests McScreamy wants ran is like a mile long so I imagine that my arm’s going to be stuck somewhere around 9 bajillion times.

“You know, if you guys are out of needles, I really won’t be upset,” I reassure the nurse, trying not to give away my phobia of needles.  “I can always come back another time.”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” she replies, and I swear I can see the bloodlust in her eyes.

The doctor comes in and she’s really cool.  Like Fonzie cool.   She explains the tests in greater detail and without all the screaming.   There’ll be regular blood screens, a cystic fibrosis screening, and some on depth looks at my generic code.  A cornucopia of tests, if you will.

“You know, you can have irregularities in your genes and still look normal,” Fonz shares.  Finally, a medical opinion that I am normal looking-ish!

This test is to find if there’s something deep down that might be messing with seed quality, if ya know what I mean.   Makes me feel like an X-Man whose power is producing freakishly unviable sperm.  Like Steve.

After giving up on them being out of needles, I man up and ask Dr. Fonz exactly how many times I’m going to end up getting poked with a needle.  She assures me that there’ll only be the one sticking.

She leaves to send the nurse back and I’m a little relieved.  Once.  Whew!   I can do this!

Enter the nurse again, carrying two trays filled with vials of all different sizes like she just came from Willy Wonka’s medical supply cabinet.

I eye her suspiciously as she says, “OK, if you can roll up your sleeve for me? We’re going to be taking nine blood samples.”

NINE?!  But Fonzarelli said….

Oh, yeah.  There’s only one needle.  They just change out vials.

Well played, Fonz.  Well played.

So I stare at the door as if penguins are jumping through it and Nurse Bloodthirsty asks if I’ve eaten anything.

Nope.  Nothing.  Sweet!  I’m gonna be all woozy after this bloodletting!

Alas, all that blood and no hallucinations to show for it.   No cookie either, by the way.

Over the next few weeks, my results slowly trickle in.   Slightly high cholesterol (“cut down on red meat,” the nurse says over the phone after I just finished a plate of barbecue), no cystic fibrosis, and just negative on my DNA stuff.  And no answers!

Written by jovid52

January 24, 2011 at 9:05 pm

All I Need is A Miracle

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The newest letter arrives and it’s not really anything we wanted to hear. Essentially, what the microscope showed us previously is true across the board for my sample.   There just aren’t enough mobile sperm or correctly shaped sperm present to be conducive for our desires.   Dr. K is befuddled by this given my blood work, but this is what the test showed.   Couple that with our ages and the MTHFR problems and the doctor thinks our chances of going the old fashioned route are very, very slim.   Not to say it couldn’t be accomplished.  We’ve achieved it before. Just that realistically, not very good odds.

He wants to talk to us about in vitro because he feels that it would be a very successful process for our case.   We’ve been on the fence regarding this for a bit. Dr. K told us that he really doesn’t like going this route because it feels to him as though he failed us. I find comfort in that.  We don’t feel so alone. He cares so much about helping us accomplish this.  We haven’t made an appointment yet, but I think we’re at least going to go and get the information.   And if anyone has an extra $15,000 laying around and wants to clear some space, give us a call! 🙂

We’ve also been giving adoption some serious consideration.   This is all in fact collection mode as well.   I know there’s a long process and financially, there’s a cost as well, but we’ve only just begun to Google and put out feelers.

Despite all the things that seem like setbacks, I just don’t feel like this door is being closed.   I know that earlier I wrote very confidently about us having a child.   When I look back at that entry, I wonder if some of it comes across as prideful or arrogant.   I don’t reallly think that it’s wrong to pray for a miracle regarding our situation, but I’m not sure if I’m also telling God exactly how He should fulfill that request.  Sometimes it feels like holding onto this causes more harm than good.  The crushing monthly disappointment is hard for both of us and here I am setting us up for more hardship next month.   I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t make me second guess what I feel like God is saying.   I wonder sometimes if I’m being fair.   I continue to pray about it and I still feel like it’s a “just wait” kind of scenario.

We hear so many wonderful stories from amazingly supportive people about other couples who have been in similar situations and God just blessed them with a child that’s it hard not to put ourselves in those scenarios.   To think that it’s going to happen for us in the same, exact way.   Quite simply, we’d love to just get pregnant the good, old fashioned way and give birth.   Just something incredible that we want to experience together.

This exercise in patience can be excruciating.   I guess the overall point here is where do our hearts lie?   Are we dedicated to continuing in prayer over this?   To continue trying in this?   To accept however God is working here?   I know that keeping in constant prayer keeps that relationship open not only between my wife and I, but between us and our Lord.  And I know that whatever comes from this, He will be glorified.

Written by jovid52

September 21, 2010 at 8:11 pm

Posted in Baby Stuff