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The Joule, Part Two…Or the END of my Booze Problem

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Our friends arrive and we dudes hit the pool table.  But dinner soon beckons.

Personalized menus? Check.

Sommelier? Check.

Let’s eat. (Now, I should mention that my wife doesn’t like wine.  And we’re simple country people too awkward to ask this man who studies the intricacies of wine for a soda.  So it’s really my husbandly duty to save my lovely bride any embarrassment and help her get rid of her drinks.  I succeeded in one of those two goals.)

First course: Lobster Corndog

Wine status:  Whenever the server looks away and the sommelier leaves the room, I basically shotgun my wife’s wine. I got this.

Second course: Limestone Lettuce Salad

Wine status: I can hold my own against this sissy grape juice.

Third Course: Carmelized Scallop.

Wine status:  Hey, anyone feel weird?  It’s like, my legs tingle and I see them, but are they really there?  Could the wine be affecting me?

Fourth Course: Sauteed Pheasant

Wine status: My head feels funny.  Funny is a funny word.

Fifth Course: Dry Aged NY Sirloin

Wine status: I must say silly things and make many outrageous and outlandish claims.

And dessert is an assortment of tarts and pies and yummies!

Wine status:  I vaguely recall this course.  Who took these pictures?

So, yeah.

I still don’t think I was DRUNK drunk, but I was probably right around the corner from it.  Of course, having never been drunk, I have no basis for comparison.  And I was doubling up on the glasses and I figured that wouldn’t affect me too much since I was constantly eating.  And surely they would be giving us the cheap stuff since it was all free.  I was wrong, wrong, and wrong.

You’re probably thinking that Joe can’t hold his booze.  Well, it was like 10-ish glasses of wine!  I spent a good part of time in one of the three bathrooms and then another part of time laid out on the bed in the master bedroom.  I did come back around and recover quickly to finish out the night in my right mind. 

And I got Jen a Dr. Pepper that morning.

Lessons learned:

MODERATION. Nothing wrong with a drink or two, if you ask me. Ten glasses of wine? A bit over the top.

MAN UP. There’s also nothing wrong with stepping up as a husband and taking care of what my wife wanted which was a Dr. Pepper. We don’t have to be intimidated by fancy places.

Did I mention MODERATION?  Just wanted to be sure because this is not a “Hey, kids! Drinking is fun! Let’s all go drinking and drink some drinks!”  This was an adventure to be sure, but one I want to repeat mostly sober. 🙂

PSA:  Ok, you may notice that tonight’s post dealt with the existence of alcohol and the effects of overconsumption.  While there’s nothing necessarily wrong with an ADULT OF LEGAL DRINKING AGE enjoying a beverage, it is important to not only know yourself well enough to decide if you are a drinker, but also to know when to say when.  Like when to stop drinking.  Sure, people always seem to laugh about it, but take it from me, kids: it’s not funny.  If you want to know more about alcohol and it’s effects, consult your local library.


Written by jovid52

March 2, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Posted in contests

The Joule, Part One, or the Beginnings of My Booze Problem

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One of the prizes that sticks out the most in my mind was an Easter egg hunt sponsored by the Joule hotel downtown.  They hid a Golden Egg in different cities across the country.  At a given time, the Joule posted clues on their Facebook and Twitter pages, directing you to a specific spot in the city.  If you found the egg you received airfare to Dallas, dinner at the Charlie Palmer, and a weekend in the hotel.  However, if you were the Dallas winner, you received a nights stay in their penthouse and dinner for four.

The first time I heard of this contest I knew I absolutely had to find this egg.  My wife LOVES hotels and what could be better than staying in a penthouse?!

The first clue came across their Twitter along with instructions that the first person to find the egg needed to send them a picture and the search was over.  When this first clue dropped, I hit Google.  It took two websites to find the answer.

It was stashed at a new park right in front of where I catch my bus home.  I half expected to see at least a few egg seekers, but it seemed that I was the only one.  I eyed each person there suspiciously just in case they were there to snatch my egg.  So I dashed around, looking in bushes, behind playground equipment, inside trash cans.  I looked so frantic a homeless man stopped to watch my crazy actions.  Finally, I found it stashed near the entry sign and victory was mine! I sent in my picture and confirmed my win!

It felt like an eternity for the information packet to arrive.  The toughest part was deciding when to use this! I mean, once you use it, it’s gone!  Should it be our anniversary?  Birthday?  A holiday?  A just because day?  Finally, we picked a date and began the process of setting it all up.  Penthouse reservations were fairly easy to make, but the real joy was in getting the dinner nailed down.  When I contacted the restaurant it turned out that, not only did they want to serve us in the penthouse, but the chef wanted to create an exclusive menu with wine pairings for us!

Booze and extravagant food?!  Yes, please!

So we invited a wonderful couple along for dinner and the night was set!

Now, this place is swanky.  SWANKY.

Jenni and I did our research because I always like to know what I should expect before walking into a place like that.  We navigated the lobby and front desk like pros.  “Oh, we stay at the Joule when we tire of the Mansion.”

Entering the penthouse was another matter all together.  The front desk attendant gave us the key cards that unlock the elevator’s access to the top.  When the doors open into the living room, we are hit with that feeling of WE DO NOT BELONG HERE. Like the Clampetts must’ve felt movin’ in to Beverly.

The Penthouse is enormous.

Living room, media room, pool table, balcon-IES, dining area, two bedrooms, three bathrooms (with bidets.)  INSANE. 

Britney Spears stayed here.

Lady Gaga.

And now the Thompsons.

Keep on the lookout for Part Two tomorrow.  Y’all come back now, y’hear?

Written by jovid52

March 1, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Posted in contests